How to know when you’re not a ‘real writer’

Not Entirely Serious

What makes someone a ‘real writer’? There’s little consensus over what the phrase actually means.

So, I’ve trawled the internet (and a few books as well for old times sake) in search of the received wisdom. The gist of it seems to be:

  • If your route to publication is different to my choice, then you are clearly not a real writer.
  • If you write in a genre that I wouldn’t touch with a barge-pole then, I’m sorry, you’re not a real writer.
  • If you’re younger or older than I am, you’re very unlikely to be a real writer.
  • If you employ a style of writing that is significantly different to mine, you’re not a real writer.
  • If your protagonists are of a different gender to my protagonists, then frankly I’m surprised you even have to ask.
  • If the stakes in your story – from will they / won’t they through to “but Flash, we’ve only got 24 hours to save the world” – are at variance to the timbre and pitch of my own stories, then you’re not a real writer.
  • Real writers choose a particular time of day to write. If your choice is different to mine… you guessed it.
  • Some writers plan their books. Others write by the ‘seat of their pants’, allowing inspiration to come along the way. Make the correct choice, or you’ll never be a real writer.
  • Do as I do in all things, but if I haven’t heard of you, you’re still not a real writer.

So now you know. Just follow all the advice given on the internet and you’ll be a real writer in no time.

 

(Photo: ‘The Passion of Creation’ By Leonid Pasternak [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons)

A ‘first edition’? For £1860.39? Get it on createspace for $9.99

Koriba
A valuable 'first edition'

A valuable ‘first edition’

 

I was intrigued (and slightly alarmed in truth) to notice that the paperback version of one of my novels is currently on sale, at Amazon of all places, for the princely sum of $1,860.39! The page claims this is a ‘first edition’ (though the typo converts this into a ‘frist edition’). Even so, it’s quite a chunk of change for a book that is also available through Createspace (part of Amazon) for a more reasonable $9.99.

(Besides which, can a print-on-demand book ever be really described as a ‘first edition’?)

I suspect this has been caused by the usual insanity regarding algorithms. There aren’t many copies of ‘The Dry Lands‘ in print, so there won’t be many available second hand. So the price shoots up.

I’ve alerted Amazon to the fact that there is a cheaper version available through their own Createspace store – and it should also be available through the regular Amazon store as well, though this might vary depending on where in the world you live.

If you want to pick up a bargain version at $9.99 or so, depending on your location and currency, you can do so here.

 

A new novel by Richard Bunning – a fellow Awesome Indies writer

News

Love sci-fi? Speculative fiction? Spiders? Looking for something a little different to read? Then Richard Bunning has you covered:

02-SpiderworldWeb

AIA Publishing has just released its fifth book, and in line with previous fiction titles, the book has a unique voice and a metaphysical bent. Spiderworld by Richard Bunning turns the tables on humans and spiders, and makes you think about humankind’s relationship with animals and with each other.

Not even the time-lord, Orlando Oversight, knows everything. But speculation can turn into a real future, and the Lush Star system, where spider-like beings treat humans as we do animals, isn’t such a distant dream away.

Do Jack Baker, the self-styled ‘Spartacus’, and his followers have a future as more than meat and slaves? Will Athalie have the life she hopes for with her hero? And will the ‘spider’ Boklung hold his business together while funding and organising the Arcraft’s voyage across the Milky Way?

Spiderworld is another of Richard Bunning’s quirky, speculative, science fictions.

Is it any good?

Of course it is. It’s published by AIA Publishing, a selective publisher with high standards in quality control. It’s also Awesome Indies Approved and has been nominated for an Awesome Indies Seal of Excellence in fiction.

Will I like it?

Here’s what the Awesome Indies review says:

“This is a unique read in so many ways, and I loved it. Eight-limbed “spiders” rule the Multiverse. Humans (yeng) are an enslaved species, and also provide delicious meat to the Aranians. This was a book that pulled me into its pages. If you love sci-fi, alien worlds, even a bit of romance, then you’re bound to love this book.”

Where can I buy it?

Your local Kindle Store

Smashwords.

Who is Richard?

Richard is a citizen of the United Kingdom and New Zealand, but currently resides in Switzerland. He has seven substantive books published, plus one gift-market book written with few words and many short stories appearing in a number of anthologies. His novels are all speculative science fiction while his short pieces cover many genres. He’s also written ‘modern’ English language versions of French neoclassical plays that spouted from some quite different region of his author personality.

Details on all Richard’s writing, including free stories and ‘bloggins’, plus his reviews of many other writers’ works, can be found at:- http://richardbunningbooksandreviews.com

 

Digging deep to get to the root of a problem

Reflections

Sometimes it pays to take language back to its roots. Metaphors are powerful in all sorts of ways, but sometimes we use them without noticing the remarkable, grounded truth they contain.

A creeping thistle with most, probably not all, of the root. Had to dig well into the subsoil to get his much out.

A creeping thistle with most, probably not all, of the root. Had to dig well into the subsoil to get his much out.

I was reminded of this fact while weeding my vegetable plot and trying to rid of an infestation of creeping thistle.

No matter how deep you dig, it seems you always need to go just a little bit further. Leave even a fragment of the root behind, and it will be back. Persistence is essential. It might take years to eradicate the problem or even get it under control.

These lessons are true for fiction, too. A character can’t transform themselves overnight. Even huge events in their life won’t be enough to root out deep seated issues. All too often in stories, we accept major character change as happening almost instantly. Or too easily. A flash of insight, a bit of self-recognition and BOOM – the person is changed. A new day dawns. Head towards the resolution with flags flying.

Real life isn’t like that. Real people have to keep working at their issues day after day, year after year. Just as you think you’re making progress, the thistles reappear and you realise you have even more digging to do. Even more work is needed. It might never be over. You always have to keep an eye out for thistles, even if you got all the roots, the wind might still bring seeds.

Reframing the view

out-and-about

We found a dressing-up box and a huge picture frame on our walk in the woods today.

This looks like a good place to stand.

This looks like a good place to stand.

The Muppets sing Danny Boy

Not Entirely Serious

I suspect this is possibly the funniest thing I’ve ever seen: the Swedish Chef, Animal and Beaker singing Danny Boy.

New release: ‘Wild, Hugo Wilde’

News
A boy, a girl, a desolate moor. And a world that won't leave them be.

A boy, a girl, a desolate moor. And a world that won’t leave them be.

 

“Not being loved, it’s the best thing that can happen to you.”

 

Hugo has been spotted, in the wild:

Amazon

Amazon UK store

7 reasons I hate list articles

Opinion

List articles – or ‘listicles‘ as they are sometimes known – seem to have taken over the internet entirely. They’ve always been a big thing, having morphed over from the world of magazines. But I’m done with  them. Here’s why – presented, of course, as a handy list:

1. The glibness

List articles always seem to be written in a  hurry, with little or no real content. Shallow, top of the head thinking hurled onto pixels with barely a second thought.

2. The clickbaityness (that is *so* a real word)

People write list articles because they know folks click through to them from social media links etc. That’s the reason. No other. Sure, it means they’re popular. But so is Justin Bieber and American Idol and Strictly Come Dancing. So there’s that.

3. The hectoring

It’s the bloggers curse – the irresistible urge to  adopt the ‘authority’ tone of voice, the ‘I know best, listen to me’  attitude – as if they are addressing a wayward child who really needs to listen up and take notice now because they’re doing everything wrong. They set themselves up as the teacher dispensing wisdom to all and sundry. Most don’t have the credentials, or the experience, or anything much to show why they think their opinion is so all important. Which is probably why they do it.

4. The self-righteous, sanctimonious smugness

For more details, see item 3.

5. The irrelevance

Seems like the writer always picks a number first, never quite thinks up enough items, so has to add one that’s just filler. Does that happen a lot? It seems to.

6. The Biblical thing

There were  ten commandments. Why not eleven, or seven, or 97? Not sure if anyone knows, except the person who wrote them, and She’s not telling. But the idea caught on and to this day list article writers sure do seem to want to lay down the law and put you straight about a few things.

7. The repetition and redundancy

I don’t think I need to explain this, do I?

Print version of Lost In Thought, plus more books approved by Awesome Indies – and featured on the new Storyteller Alley site

News
Awesome Indies approved

Awesome Indies approved

Two more of my books have been given the official ‘Awesome Indies’ seal of approval. ‘The Dry Lands’ and ‘In The Wreckage’ have both been read  by the Awesome Indies team and given 5-star reviews. The review for ‘The Dry Lands’ is here, and ‘In The Wreckage’ is here.

A new site, Storyteller Alley, has been launched to promote the work of independent authors – and they are giving away books on a regular basis, so it’s well worth checking out for a huge range of authors and genres. The site has featured my books ‘Lost In Thought’ and ‘Ball Machine’ already, with ‘The Dry Lands’ and ‘Wreckage’ pending. (Which means, I only sent them the details on those books a few minutes ago…. as of the time of writing, of course.)

‘Lost in Thought’ now has a new cover (on Amazon, at least) and is now available in print, direct here, and on Amazon and Barnes and Noble in the near future.

Lost In Thought print cover

‘Lost In Thought’ paperback cover

Paperback version of 'Outlivers'

News

The YA dystopian novel ‘Outlivers’ is now available in paperback. The book is set in a near-future where the wealthy enjoy extended long life, and the young are enslaved to their needs.

Paperback copies can be ordered directly from the print-on-demand suppliers here. Print versions are also available through Amazon and Barnes and Noble.